Happy Birthday, my love.
I'm not good with words out loud. So here — finally written down — is everything that's been sitting in my heart.
for you, from Gokul
Okay… where do I even start? ❤️
I got you a card because I wanted to put some of my feelings into words. But then I realized something... A card has limits.
Of course, I could have just sent you a long WhatsApp message. But come on... You know how I always like to remind you that... “I’m a Senior Software Engineer.” 😂
And yes, I already know you're probably making fun of me while reading that. 😂❤️ But this time, being a Senior Software Engineer means I have to find a solution to my problem.
Problem: The card doesn't have enough space.
Solution: Build an entire website for my girl. 😂❤️
So... here we are. I actually built a website just because a birthday card wasn't enough for everything I wanted to tell you.
Maybe your friends can say, “My boyfriend gave me a beautiful birthday card.” But someday you can say, “My husband built an entire website just to tell me how much he loves me.” 😂❤️
Okay, okay... I'm not your husband yet. But I'm planning ahead. Senior Software Engineer, remember? 😂
Jokes apart, that's actually why this website exists. The card has some of the things I've wanted to tell you, but I couldn't fit everything into it. And even some of the things I wrote there... I feel like I couldn't fully explain what I actually meant.
So you may see me talking about a few of those things again here. Not because I forgot that I already wrote them. 😂 Because there was more I wanted to say.
There are things I think about when I'm sitting at work. Things I think about when I'm alone at home. Things I want to experience with you. Things I imagine about our future.
And maybe... a few things further down that are definitely not suitable for a birthday card. 👀😂❤️
So think of the card as the beginning. This website is everything that didn't fit inside it. ❤️
And since I used my Senior Software Engineer skills to build an entire website for you... you have no option now. Keep scrolling, babe. 😂❤️
You Became My Comfort ❤️
There's something small that happens quite often, and I don't think I've ever properly explained it to you.
Whenever work gets stressful, when something isn't going the way I expected, or when there's too much pressure in my head, sometimes I just open one of our pictures.
I look at it for a few seconds. That's it.
Obviously, my problem doesn't magically disappear. Unfortunately, even your face can't fix production issues. 😂
But somehow, I feel better. My mind becomes a little calmer, and whatever was bothering me doesn't feel quite as heavy anymore.
Sometimes I look at our picture and just think about you for a moment before getting back to whatever I was doing.
It's such a small thing, and you probably never even knew I did it. But I think it says something that I sometimes struggle to explain with words.
Somewhere along the way, you became my comfort. ❤️
My Favorite Hobby ❤️
If someone asks me what my hobbies are, I can give all the usual answers. Gaming. Creating content. Traveling. Watching something.
But nowadays, if you ask me what I genuinely enjoy the most, my answer is actually much simpler. Doing anything with you.
I don't really care what we're doing. We could be going somewhere, eating together, going for a drive, sitting somewhere talking, watching something, or literally doing nothing.
If you're there, I'm happy.
I don't always need a plan. I don't need some expensive place or some perfect date.
Sometimes I literally just want to sit next to you. Talk nonsense. Laugh. Roast each other. And spend time with you.
So maybe I've found a new hobby after all. Being with my girl. 😂❤️
The Ordinary Life I Keep Imagining ❤️
And this is probably the biggest change I've noticed in myself lately. These days, I have this feeling that I want everything to happen faster.
I want you to get the job you've been working so hard for. I want us to get married. I want us to start our life together.
Maybe I'm becoming impatient. 😂 But more than anything... I just want to be near you.
I've never felt something like this before. Sometimes when I'm sitting alone at home, I randomly start imagining how it would feel if you were already there.
Not some huge romantic scene. Just... you sitting next to me. Saying some stupid joke. Me roasting you. You roasting me back even harder. 😂
Maybe us fighting over something completely unnecessary. Then five minutes later, both of us behaving like nothing happened.
Because when I think about a future with you, I don't only think about trips, romantic dates, birthdays or special occasions. I want the normal days too.
Coming home and seeing you there. Eating together. Talking about how our day went. Sitting beside each other doing absolutely nothing. Laughing at stupid things. Annoying each other. Fighting sometimes. Making up again.
Going to sleep knowing that tomorrow, you're still going to be there.
There are moments when I'm alone and I feel lonely. But when you're with me, I don't really feel that way. You don't even have to do anything special. Having you there is enough for me. ❤️
Maybe that's why I think so much about getting married nowadays. I don't want to keep imagining what it would be like to have you beside me every day. Someday, I want that to simply be our life. ❤️
One Memory I Can't Stop Imagining ❄️❤️
Okay... Here's one of those things that probably didn't belong on the birthday card. 👀😂❤️
I've already told you how much I want us to experience snowfall together. And yes, I know I'm saying it again. But there's a little more to that dream than just standing outside together and watching snow fall.
When I imagine it, I imagine us somewhere far away in the mountains. A beautiful room. A huge glass window. Big white mountains outside. Snow slowly falling everywhere. Cold outside... and warm inside.
And inside that room... just you and me. No work. No exams. No phones. No one disturbing us. Nothing we need to think about for a while.
I imagine pulling you close to me. Kissing you slowly. Feeling you against me. Taking our time with each other.
I want to look into your eyes when we're that close. I want to see all those little expressions on your face. Your smile. Your shyness. Your desire. The way you look at me. Everything. ❤️
I want those intimate moments where, for a little while, both of us forget there's an entire world outside that room. No hurry. No pressure. Just us enjoying being close to each other.
But there's another part of this picture that I love imagining even more. The quiet moment that comes later.
I imagine you standing in front of that huge glass window, looking at the snow falling over those massive white mountains. And then I come up behind you. I wrap my arms around you. Pull you close against me. Kiss your shoulder. And just hold you there.
You don't have to say anything. Neither do I. We're just standing there together, warm in each other's arms, watching the snowfall.
And I think in that moment I'd look at you and feel... This is exactly where I want to be. Not because we're somewhere expensive. Not because of the mountains. Not even because of the snowfall. Because you're there with me. ❤️
I want the passion with you. The attraction. The slow kisses. The teasing. The eye contact. Those private moments that belong only to us.
But I also want the quiet part afterwards. Falling asleep beside you. Waking up and realizing you're still there. Annoying you within five minutes of waking up... and probably getting roasted immediately. 😂❤️
Maybe opening the curtains and seeing that it's still snowing outside. And having absolutely nowhere we need to rush to.
That's why, when I say I want to experience snowfall with you, I'm not only talking about seeing snow. I'm imagining an entire memory with you.
Love. Attraction. Intimacy. Peace. Laughter. And my girl beside me.
Right now, that room only exists in my imagination. That window. Those mountains. The snowfall. You standing there. Me holding you from behind.
But someday, I want to stand there with you and realize... I don't have to imagine this anymore. We finally made this memory ours. ❄️❤️
August 19 ❤️
And now back to reality...
Unfortunately, my Senior Software Engineer skills still haven't found a way to make time move faster. 😂
Because while I'm sitting here making this website, there's one thought that keeps coming into my head. Can August 19th please come a little faster? 🥹❤️
I just want to see my babe. That's it.
I want to see your face in front of me instead of on my phone. I want to sit next to you. Talk to you. Laugh with you. Look at you.
And yes... probably get roasted by you again. 😂❤️
It's funny how sometimes you're waiting for something huge in life... and right now, I'm literally just waiting for a date on the calendar because that's when I get to see my girl again.
So please... August 19th... come fast. 😭❤️
Some memories don't need a caption.
